Calgon..take me away

Two of my Mother’s favorite things were great books and long baths. Preferably done at the same time.

I have inherited those same passions.

These are two of the most important things that she could no longer enjoy, once her body and soul had begun climbing that ladder to her next destination.

Yesterday, as I was soaking in the tub, with a wonderful book, I felt that awful emptiness…

Until

I realized how lucky I am to be doing what she loved. She would want that for me.

Goals

I set them…

usually way to high

I rarely reach them.

Today I reached a “goal” I had set for myself when I had my bloodwork results read to me, like a death sentence, by my Doctor.

There is a number,

EVERY woman has it…

what we think is the “perfect weight”…

Probably something close to where we were in high school.

It’s a number that fucks us up every day, whether we get on the scale or not.

I have not earned it in the way I thought I would.

Granted, I did give up gluten, dairy…joy.

I reached my goal by losing much more than pounds.

I lost both of my Parents, within days of each other

So, yes…I met that number, but it wasn’t earned.

It was taken from me.

Bonus, I am skinny.

The loss…

is the LOSS.

Just for today

Broken

Beautiful glass vials…

To fill with ashes…

of the most important woman I have ever loved…

Who is no longer.Period.

End of sentence

End of thought…

Just an ache.

Just

THE END